Life

Shedding and Thinning

One of the hardest things in my life has been to loose this weight and keep it off. I’ve lost 50 lbs and I’m working on the last 20 of it.  It will be a great accomplishment.  I have people tell me all the time that I’m an inspiration, but I just look at it as getting healthy so I can be around to see my grandkids.  I want to be healthy, not just weight wise, but heart, soul everything.  I tell people when they ask that it really is all about calories in vs. calories out.  Some people say, but I don’t have an hour 4-5 times a week to work out. Well, do you really want to wait until you are having cholesterol problems, heart problems etc to “have time”???  I’m glad I’m finally doing this for me. I’m not about doing this so I can get a man, heck I don’t even have time for one.  It does feel good to be healthier and I’m looking forward to more changes along the way.

Speaking of men, why do people feel like since I’m single there must be something wrong. LOL  I like being single. I can wear what I want when I want. I don’t have to cook for anyone if I don’t want to.  I don’t feel guilty about not being at home while they are at home.  I don’t have to be home at a certain time.  I know what money I make and where it goes out to.  I can put money in my savings account without having to worry about where it might go……  I get a lot more freedom by not being in a relationship.  So many times there are too many “controls” in a relationship.  I don’t think it should be that way.  If there is trust then there is no need for controls.  But we all come with our own baggage to sort through.  I’m getting through mine as the days gone on and as the song goes ” I’m getting a little bit stronger”.

Made it to 50!

I can’t believe it, but about a month or so ago, I hit the big 5-0! Yes, I lost 50 lbs.  I’m kind of at a stand still right now, but I’m hoping with upping my gym visits to 5 nights/week, hopefully that will push me over the edge. And to be honest I haven’t been watching my foot as much as I was before, so it’s partly my fault.  I’m ok with it, I knew I was doing it and I am ok with it taking longer than I want it to.

The dating while you are a single mom sucks.  I’m resigned to the fact that I will not find a quality man and I’m ok with it.  I’m doing just fine on my own, although sometimes it would be nice to have adult time and a helper.  But sometimes that can also come with headaches.  I’ve done the online dating websites and always come up snake eyes.  I don’t have friends of friends to hook me up.  Don’t want to meet someone at church because what if it doesn’t work out.  Maybe a guy at Dylan’s school.  HAHAHA  But really when I look at my life I really don’t have time to put someone in it again.  I’d just end up disappointing them with how much I couldn’t see them.

Update on Shedding the Lbs

I’ve lost close to 40 lbs total now and down two sizes.  It’s a great feeling and I’m still loosing. I’m close to my ideal, but I still have about 25 lbs to go.  I know these will be the hardest to loose and will take longer, but it’s worth it to be healthier and in better shape.  Even though I’m not where I want to be weight wise, I feel much better about myself and my body, something that hasn’t always been with me.

I think my 30s are shaping up to be some of the best years of my life.  I look forward to the future and all it has to offer.

New Year, New Everything

So overwhelmed with the New Year and it’s only the first month.  I have so much going on I don’t know what to do.

I’m working on getting the house in garner ready to rent to a friend.  Dylan is getting tested for things.  Frustrated with my rental agreement and property mgmt company.  Family stresses me out.  I think I’ll just move away and some of these things will take care of themselves. LOL

On the plus side, I’m going to be officially legally single.  Which while I didn’t want this option, I am going to embrace it so I can move on.  I’ve done pretty good so far, so this is the last nail in the coffin as they say.

Dylan wants a sibling and keeps asking me for one. I think if he asks again I might have to start the birds and bees conversation so that he will know that it won’t happen for a LONG time.  The dating thing is another frustration. I don’t feel my standards aren’t ENORMOUSLY high, but I’ve yet to find someone that fits even 1/2 of them.  Plus do I really want to endanger Dylan’s well being and emotional development by getting involved with someone I barely even know.  I’m not saying he’ll be involved from the beginning with my dating life, but eventually there will be a “meeting”.  How do you trust someone with your children after you’ve been through divorce and that is so damaging by itself.  I’ve kind of thought to myself, maybe no dating until Dylan is in high school, but then I don’t know either.  He’ll have crazy hormones by that time and will probably rebel against me getting involved with anyone.  Maybe I should do so now while he’s still open to me being with someone else. LOL  I guess only time will tell.

I’m also still working out. I’m at a total loss of 21 lbs. I’m hoping to be less 30 lbs by spring/summer.  Sometimes I loose without even trying so I guess that’s good. Right?  I do miss the gym when I don’t go and I feel so much better after I do go.

Well, to the future we go with our minds and arms open wide.