Sunday October 30, 2011

Now that football season is officially over…..what will we do?  HAHAHA relax and take in the time for us at home.  I really need to find something else for him to be involved in.  It’s really amazing how much time you have vs. how much you think you have.  I mean even though we were on the go all the time and I felt like I didn’t have much time at all, I really did have time.  I made time for people when I could and the house was still in good shape. 🙂

However, I find myself sad tonight.  I’m not really sure why. I’m trying to figure it out.  I never really feel “sad” except for all the appropriate times….death, bad news, someone getting hurt, someone sick, etc etc.  But in a general sad mood no.  We’ve had a great weekend.  Had a visitor Saturday that came to Dylan’s game and mom was there as well.  They didn’t win, but it was fun all the same.  Dylan had a great, no……. awesome tackle!  I didn’t get a picture of it. 🙁  But that’s ok.  Then we had his awards ceremony at ci cis pizza.  Then off to the Mestey’s house for a cookout/bonfire.  Friday night we also had a bonfire at Mitch’s farm and I got to see all my Clayton friends.  Maybe that’s the problem……I don’t feel like I fit again.  I don’t see my friends in Clayton much at all anymore, I have few friends here……Dylan is moody lately and it makes me feel like a bad mom.  We have similar issues, so I think we get on each others nerves sometimes, especially when we are tired.  I think I’m also sad that I don’t have a “traditional” family at home…, husband, wife…..and I miss it.  Although it is hard and probably harder than what I have now. I miss sharing myself with someone.  I feel like I’m broken and can’t fix it.  I have hit a wall and can’t get over it or under it.  Time for self reflection I think…….